I’m Ollie from Northfields in West London (or ‘West of London’, as the humans say to people who might not approve of a spaniel in the city). Whilst I may technically be more of an unemployed-cocker than a working-cocker, I’m certainly not lazy; I am on the go constantly. I like to go everywhere with the humans, and usually achieve this (with the notable exceptions of ‘work’ and ‘the toilet’ both of which are unknown entities to me). I am a regular in most of the pubs in Northfields but am yet to have been bought a drink. Most of all, though, I LOVE holidays. I’m only one year and two months old and already I have travelled to Wales, Dorset, Devon and Somerset!
I was very young on my first holiday to ‘the middle of nowhere’ in Wales so my memory is a little hazy. We stayed in an old barn with sheep outside the door. I wasn’t sure about that. I found a fellow canine across the valley to bark about it with – he wasn’t impressed either. I particularly liked the rug in the barn – a big thing with tassels on. So I used my new holiday Nylabone as a decoy and managed to have a good old chew. The lady who owned the barn wasn’t very happy about that and charged the humans £33.09 in rug repairs – it certainly didn’t taste THAT good.
- Ollie stayed in ‘The Haford’, booked via Black Mountains Holidays: www.blackmountainsholidaycottages.co.uk
My second holiday was a ‘Forest Holiday’ with my doggy cousins Toby (very short) and Ned (very tall). It was AMAZING – dog treats on arrival, long walks in the woods, ‘Hot Tub Hounds’ (us) won the quiz, and I ate a small dead mouse. My only criticism was that the hounds weren’t actually allowed in the hot tub. Cousin Toby was so indignant at being left out that he did a little poo in the cabin while the humans were having a soak. I have a feeling that might be that sort of behaviour that got dog-kind banned from the hot tub in the first place?
- Ollie stayed in a Golden Oak Cabin at the Blackwood Forest in Hampshire with Forest Holidays. Log on to www.forestholidays.co.uk/locations/south-of-england/blackwood-forest-holidays
Holiday number three was a beach hut in North Devon – an incredible place but, again, with a hot tub I wasn’t allowed in. It didn’t matter because I was pretty flat out after my walk along the ‘best beach in Britain’. I got to go in cafes in Devon (I don’t think they have many of them in Northfields because we always go to the pub) and I went on a funicular (train up a hill) with a lot of humans who thought it outrageously funny that I was sitting with my legs apart on the humans’ lap. They clearly haven’t encountered me on the tube. If you’ve got it flaunt it, I say!
- Ollie stayed at Beach Cove Coastal Retreat in North Devon: www.darwinescapes.co.uk/parks/beach-cove-coastal-retreat
My final holiday to date was ‘camping’ in April. I’d never been camping before and had no idea what to expect. When we arrived in the empty field in Cheddar (apparently camping in England in April is not very popular) my first encounter was with my new nemesis – ‘the dog stake’. The dog stake holds on to your lead preventing you from pursuing any important squirrel chasing/poo eating/ digging tasks outside of a three metre radius. Unless you chew through your lead, that is. Once I had been captured and the inflatable canvas house put up it was time for the humans to sit in the cold and blame me for the fact we weren’t in ‘the Caribbean’ (not sure why it was my fault; I’ll try anything once). When the humans had stopped complaining, I played dead-from-the-extreme-cold to ensure I was allowed to sleep in the human bed – things were looking up. It turns out camping isn’t so bad after all: the walking is good, I got plenty of attention in the pubs, and there are SAUSAGES!
- Ollie camped at Cheddar in Somerset with www.petruthpaddocks.co.uk
Now I’m getting most excited about my next holiday – we are taking the inflatable canvas house to France! Now, I know that France is exotic and only suitable for hard-core adventurers like me because I had to have a rabies vaccination. They made me a little bit rabid for this holiday so I just know it’s going to be a good one…..
- To read more about Ollie’s adventures follow him on Twitter @northfieldsdog or log on to www.tailsofacockneyspaniel.