This is me, Attlee Common. I am a two-year-old mongrel from Battersea Dog’s Home in London and, in November 2010, when I was still a young pup, my mistress, Jane, picked me out from all the hundreds of hounds in Battersea and took me to live with her in South-East London. I like living with Jane: I don’t like living with Jane’s cat, Dodger, quite so much.
My hobbies are sleeping, eating Jumbones and chasing squirrels. I also like picking up empty KFC wrappers in the street – there are lots of empty KFC wrappers on the street in Camberwell – and chomping on them. This has earned me the nickname ‘Chicken Bag Dog’ among the kids in the area, which I think is funny and Jane thinks is embarrassing.
I like my life. I am a dog and I do dog stuff. But Jane has ambitions for me.
Her latest plan is that I should be become a travel writer – a sort of Egon Bone-ay. Jane is a journalist and often she goes away to review hotels around Britain and takes me with her.
Which is fun. So Jane has decided to set up this website in which I, Attlee, review the hotels and pubs we visit so that other holidaying hounds know what they’re like.
I’m not sure my career as a travel journalist will be any more successful than the previous career Jane had plotted for me, as a model. I was the only mongrel on an agency’s books – and nobody wanted me. Jane had even commissioned Annie, who owns Tessnay, in our local park, to make a beefeater’s outfit for me – because she thought people might book me if I had a ‘look.’
It came to nothing. Jane had thought I was going to be the next Harvey from that television ad, the one where he’s in a rescue centre and he’s made a video about all the great things he can do, and she was very disappointed when it didn’t work out. And when she saw Harvey had scooped the part in Midsomer Murders too she was very put out on my behalf.
Then Jane decided that I could be an agility dog, like the ones they have doing jumps and going through hoops at Cruft’s, but I wasn’t very successful at that either. I couldn’t be bothered with all that weaving through cones – I’m not a show-off.
Having escaped those two avenues of actually having to work for a living, I thought I was off the hook. But no – now, according to Jane, I am the UK’s top canine correspondent on the British Isles.
Oh well, at least when we go on holiday we leave Dodger at home.
This photo, by the way, is of me, Attlee, at Durdle Door, in Dorset. Jane’s ex-boyfriend, a professional photographer took it, although I think it looks a bit like the rock formation is growing out of my head. Whatever – welcome to my website.
Attlee aka Phileas Dogg. Woof!